| | The more I think about going away for uni the more I realize that it'll probably never happen. I'll just be stuck here.
Somehow I ended up talking to mum about how much I hated it here (it was on the long ride to Tampines Mall, don't ask me why I bother going there) and she went on and on about how hard it is to make a living here and why everyone MUST be so academically driven. She's such a product of the system. The long slew of pro-academia ramblings was provoked by my own jabbering about people not caring about the environment or doing what they loved doing just because it wouldn't make them millions and the lack of hippie loafers (meant to describe happy carefree people who cared about going green and being happy and nice to others and being good people minus the materialism). When I said I'd be fine living on a farm and growing my own produce and living on just what I needed to, all she said was, "How are you gonna buy a farm without money??" Psssccchhhtt. Stupid. So stupid 'cause it actually makes sense.
(I forgot why I brought this up, it doesn't relate to the first sentence at all)
Then she was on about Kai and how much my aunt has to pay for his education, USD$60,000 for his first year alone, and that London will be so much more expensive (£££). I swear I calculated it to be about S$60,000 including living expenses etc, but perhaps I was wrong, though I doubt so. Then after that, becasue of my protest insisting that my calculations weren't flawed and implying she was ridiculous, she brought up my other cousin, saying how that after 5 years in the US, his parents still have to give him an allowance because he can't find a job. Which is true. He is getting pretty old, and he's jobless. But I don't know, he'll find one eventually, and it's okay, he looks like he's having fun. Not fun in the frivolously spending obscene amounts of money sense, but just enjoying simple things. Everyone else doesn't get it. Why not?
(This doesn't really relate to the opening line aside from it being about education, but I'm getting to that bit, I think)
Last night's beyond brief conversation with Jing reminded me to look up SAT test dates. I'm again starting to think that there's no point in taking them (don't want to take subject tests). I guess the whole thought of the future and universities just overflowed. So after lunch I went to look at CSM's website thing again (for the bajilionth time since last year) and I was reminded that I'll probably never get in. They take in what, 60 students for their womenswear undergrad course (probably not even 60 people btw), and what are the chances that they'll pick me? Every year approximately 2 to 3 students apply for 1 available spot; this is consistent for every single course. But for fashion, they get 10 people per spot, rather than JUST 2 or 3. Why am i incompetent?
As much as I hate to admit it, Omeet's right. I don't have a backup plan. My backup plan used to be some regular person school like LSE or NYU or somewhere like that, but I don't know, none of their courses really interest me all that much, and the US application system is gibberish to me. Then there's the matter of school fees and SAT subject tests or whatever (all gibberish). So it looks like I'll just be stuck here (if I can't even get into any of CSM/LCF's other courses) and really, there's zero consolation. Yes, zero, there's absolutely nothing good about this stupid place. (A part of me hopes the government will sue me for hating Singapore so much, 'cause that'll be fun)
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| | Posted 7/11/2009 6:07 PM - 54 Views - 6 eProps - 5 comments
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